“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler…” from “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost
I sometimes think about those times in my life when “two roads diverged in a yellow wood.” That constantly diverging road is where we make the choices that determine our future. Is this the school to choose? The job to take? The person to marry? The house to live in? The church to join? If, at any given fork in the road, we were more or less wealthy, attractive, ambitious, ethical then we actually were, there’s a good chance the choice we made at that point would have been different. So at times I ask myself what might have happened if I had chosen another road. And that question has led to another I’ve asked myself from time to time: Would I go back and take a “do-over” at one of those divergent points if that possibility were to present itself?
For years, I’ve enjoyed running through Watch Hill during the summer. Since my hip surgery two years ago, I haven’t been running as much, but I’ve done some running/walking several times a week for the past year and maybe that will mean a little more running this year. We’ll see. Sometimes, when I’ve run through Watch Hill, I’ve glanced at the mansions and thought to myself how great it would be to live in one of them. Imagine, I’ve mused, standing on my deck at night and seeing the stars twinkling above the revolving beam of the Watch Hill lighthouse, going to sleep to the sound of waves crashing on the shore, waking up to see the sun rising through a ribbon of multi-colored clouds over the ocean.
One summer day, a number of years ago, these thoughts came to me once again as I ran along Bluff Avenue admiring those beautiful homes. But this time another thought also occurred to me. It went something like this: “David, an angel is going to come down from heaven right this minute and give you a choice. You can choose a different life that includes the wealth to own that mansion, or you can continue to have a life with the health to run past it. But you can only have one, wealth or health. Which do you choose?” I knew without a moment of doubt that I would choose health. I already had what I really wanted!
There have been times in my life when I have regretted the choices I’ve made. Because of the roads I have taken in the yellow wood we all walk through, I’ve known disappointments, frustrations, sorrows. But I wouldn’t take a “do-over” if an angel offered me one. Who knows what a difference it would make? What would I give up in my life as I’ve lived it? What would I gain from living a different life? It would all be too risky. I’ve loved running through Watch Hill too much to tell the angel I want to live in one of those mansions.
David James Madden